The hour badly spent

First, the headline: "’Noises Off’ displays play within a play." Although descriptive, it somewhat misses the point, and the "play within a play" concept is not fully explained in the report. That concept is: "Noises Off" farcically reveals the behind-the-scenes antics of "Nothing On," a play performed within "Noises Off."

Of course our description sounds more satisfying, but it’s probably because we’re so pompous. It’s a bit technical, but Noises Off was an extremely complicated production. The headline should probably include a touch of the play’s bedroom humour, giving readers a feel for what was really going on. Something along the lines of ‘Noises Off’ tickles audience until they splooge laughter. You get the idea.

Then there’s the lede.

A man walked lazily across the stage in front of the red velvet curtain. He rubbed at his eyes as though he were just waking from a rough slumber. The man, identified as Tim, yells offstage and the curtain rises to reveal a quaint living room.

Tim, played by Greg Myers, is just one of the many eccentric characters in the most recent KSU Theatre production “Noises Off.”

We see this technique all the time. Amanda Keim is trying to draw you in with a soft introduction. The lede is a special time for a reporter, a unique moment wherein she can demonstrate her style, her attention to nuance, her own true observations; this is the only time she can pretty much editorialize and get away with it.

In keeping with the ambience (we hate that word) of Noises Off, Amanda’s lede should have painted a picture of the stage in all its magic and zest. Unfortunately, Amanda described a scene that was so uneventful, so unlike the rest of the play, that she flat out failed.

Also. "Eccentric" is another word we hate. It might sound impressive, but it’s so general-purpose that it doesn’t actually describe anything.

There were a few more technical problems in the article, articulated nicely in comments left at the Collegian’s website.

To have "Jack McFarland" comment at this blog would make our day.

The lights begin to flash across the stage and Tim yells at the controller to calm them but it is no use. The lights continue to flash and a character claims he is about to suffer a seizure. This ignites the first burst of laughter from the audience.

“It’s pretty entertaining,” said Joe Asley [ed. note: ha ha ha, we kept the misspelling], freshman in history. “They’re too dysfunctional to complete their rehearsal.”

That’s how we know it’s funny; we’re being told of the laughter. Just in case we’re not totally convinced, some freshman gives us an eye-popping description: "It’s pretty entertaining." Ho hum. The Hour Badly Spent believes it was more than "entertaining."

There was a lot of humor packed into Noises Off. It’s a shame that Act II, with all its manic irony and brilliantly timed physical humor is not given any treatment. Instead, the reporter just fixated on sex.

The character Brooke was named a favorite by audience members. She was an attractive and tall blonde who appeared to be very distracted.

“[My favorite part is] probably how dumb the blonde girl is,” said Abi Wilson, sophomore at Manhattan High School. “It’s really funny and it really makes the play.”

Brooke could be seen spacing off and as the night progressed, she was so involved in the performance that she managed to tear her black pantyhose. As Brooke’s pantyhose took a hit, more than one of the male leads was found dropping his pants.

“Sex maniacs everywhere!” exclaimed Roger, played by Michael Wieser.

Come to think of it, on principle, we have no problem with this.

[K-State Collegian]

Weeks ago, the Collegian’s "You Suck" comic depicted Jesus (yeah, I know this is old; it took my uppers this long to kick in). In panel 2, an old lady asks "What did you really want from humanity?" In panel 2, a swarthy, bearded, long-haired toga-clad Jew replies "That’s easy — all I want is for people to get along. Love ach other and be happy…it’s pretty simple."

Jesus goes on, in panel 3, with "Oh — also, don’t f**k panda bears. I can not stress that enough. Love and happiness, and no panda f**king. That’s all I ever really wanted to get across to people."

Comic portrayals of Jesus are hardly a big deal, and this one is fairly basic and pretty tame, if you ask us. Ask a Christhole, however, and you get a different answer. Ben Balman, a K-State graduate, wrote a letter to the editor.

I am writing in regard to the comic “You Suck” printed in the Collegian on Nov. 13. I was extremely offended by this comic strip when I read the Collegian Thursday morning. I did not find it to be even remotely funny. On the contrary I found it quite obscene.

In fact, I believe it crossed the line to downright blasphemy. Not only did it incorporate vulgar language of the worst kind, which would not be printed in any upstanding newspaper, it defamed Jesus Christ. As someone who proudly professes Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I was outraged, and not only me, but I know for a fact that many of my friends were deeply offended as well.

I can take a joke, but at some point we must draw the line and I believe that this comic crossed that line - blatantly and unashamedly. I am disappointed and offended beyond words. I expect better discretion by the Collegian staff in the future as far as what is printed. There is so much humor that could be printed that would be far less edgy and controversial — why must we resort to material that is crass, crude and inconsiderate of the faith of the majority of Americans? Is this merely to get a reaction like the one I am now writing?

There are both more appropriate outlets for the brand of so-called “humor” exhibited in this latest comic strip, as well as more appropriate alternatives to print in a campus newspaper. Until this comic strip ceases to be so obscene or ceases to be printed, I will now be removing the entire outer fold of any Collegian I pick up, if I choose to read it at all.

Was Balman for real? Even if he did have a point, he undermined it by making himself look stupid. We especially love the part where he disclaims that he “can take a joke,” then goes on to prove that he, in fact, can not take a joke. As far as "vulgar," since Balman failed to specify what, specifically, he took issue with, we’re going to wildly speculate what he means by "obscene." Which do you think ticked him off more: (1) the use of "f**k," which was redacted as shown, or (2) the blatant heresy that Jesus simply wants us all to get along? You decide! Keep in mind that it’s impossible to argue that Christ is in favor of pandafucking (unless it’s between pandas). We prefer to think that Balman’s biggest problem lies in not touching enough of that sweet, sweet "outer fold" he likes so much. "You Suck" agreed, publishing a very special issue:

"REMOVING THE OUTER FOLD! A new catchphrase craze!"

1. An insult: "Seriously! How did you get so stupid? Did someone remove your outer fold when you were a kid?

2. A threat: "If I ever catch you doing that on my bed again, I’m going to remove your outer fold!"

3. A circumcision euphemism: "…And apparently it also smells good. That’s why I’m glad they removed my outer fold."

Yeah, that wingnut’s letter was a comic gold mine; kudos to Nolan Fabricius and Jeff Brown for taking full advantage. They published another one:

Old lady: "Hey…did you guys hear that you’re blasphemous?"

Slacker (to Jesus): "I didn’t know that you gave your followers the right to go around condemning people."

Zing! At this point, I almost started to feel bad for Ben Balman, but in appointing himself some kind of moral beacon, he asked for it. And fundie humor is like a bottle that never runs dry; you can just reach for it over and over again. So, here’s to hoping that "You Suck" never loses its buzz.

[You Suck@K-State Collegian]

The Frowny Townie texted me late last night, urging me to come to Auntie Mae’s to celebrate the waning hours of her 22nd birthday. When I arrived, she was sitting at a booth, across from a guy named Johann, who was not saying a thing. Seriously, he placed himself just so the light could cast dark circles under his eyes, and spent all night sitting there and looking menacing while Frowny Townie talked.

And talked.

And talked.

That girl can fit the word "I" into a single sentence 58,000 times. Is this what passes for conversation these days? But with charmingly brooding fellows like Johann - good for nothing except inarticulate indifference - I guess it’s the best anyone can hope for.

Ever and anon more of her friends trickled in. Her brother. Her brother’s girlfriend, Caitlin. Jen. Jessica. Cassandra. Michael. They all sort of segmented off, not bothering to say hi to anyone they didn’t know. If she remembered to, Frowny Townie occasionally introduced people, but what’s the point; why introduce me to people who will neither talk to me nor remember my fucking name? Then they even actually migrated to the next booth and ignored the people left at mine. Exclusion is the new inclusion. I tried striking up a conversation with Johann; what’s your major, how do you know The Frowny Townie, what else can you do, but he just grunted and looked sullen. Why do people come out to bars if they’re just going to sit there and sulk? But at least he had the polite inertia to sit across from me. No one else even looked in my direction. Even when I stood there and said something like "Hi, I’m The Hour Badly Spent, how are you?" Nothing. As if a joke just flew over their heads.

These are annoyingly young snerts. Try introducing yourself to one and you get a cattlesque stare, a neutron star of civility. Try to strike up a conversation and they whip out cellphones to text-message old boyfriends. No wonder I feel all stabby whenever I hang out with people. For the longest I thought it was because I was somehow repulsive and inept, but no; it’s because they actually do just plain suck.

Whatever. I decided to sit back and see where their conversations led them. Frowny Townie and Ryan, my RA, swapped judgements on their classes. Ryan has taken American Survey courses; Frowny Townie has taken the British ones. I haven’t taken either yet, so I listened closely to those two, and actually learned some things in the process.

I had hoped that British Survey 2 would talk about some 20th century authors, like Dylan Thomas, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce, et cetera. But the course is apparently full of Victorian Lit, which Frowny Townie seems to be convinced is somehow relevant and "cool." Get the knack. Victorian everything is depressing. Nobody looks back on those good ol’ days fondly. George Eliot went out of style before your great-grandparents were born. Unfortunately, my only other option is American Survey; I would rather take a bath in a blender than slog through Moby Dick. So Charlotte Bronte, pucker up.

The subject of religion came up. Jessica chimed in, with an excitingly subversive syllogism to share.

"If you’re a Catholic priest, then you’re married to God. Therefore, God is gay."

Ryan took it and ran with it. "No, God loves everyone. He’s bisexual!"

"No he’s not," I piped up. "My church always made it pretty clear that God hates women."

Then someone called me a misogynist.

A while ago this would have sent me into paroxysms of shame and apologies. But fuck it; I’m no longer going to cave in to someone else’s earnest, numb-skulled missing of the point. If you’re too full of your own misguided indignation to understand what a pithy, brutal assault on sun-belt religious mores actually looks like, then you’re way behind on drinks, to say the least. While I’m at it, to hell with sun-belt religious mores. Wow, that was cathartic.

Frowny Townie continued. She had this story about how it was so hawt that she made out with her gay friend! On New Year’s Eve! She repeated it every time someone came into the bar with birthday wishes. By the fiftieth time I’d heard it I called bullshit.

The Hour Badly Spent:  Nipple tweak or it didn’t happen.
Frowny Townie:            No, he didn’t touch my boobs. He’s gay.
The Hour Badly Spent:  What difference does that make?

Well, whether it happened or not, it illustrates the central problem with these kids. Out of sync with their own spirituality, no sense of responsibility, no effort to even reach out to anyone in any meaningful way, and absolutely no sense of humor. By contrast, I spent New Year’s Eve doing the same things I do every day: yoga, then the art museum, then a motivational speech to inner-city children, then the library, then volunteering at the Retarded Dolphin Conservatory. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

 

Instructors sacrifice comforts to teach in Afganistan
Sacrifice comforts? Of Manhattan? Holly Campbell, are you serious? This place fucking sucks.

U.S. should appreciate life free of forced-child warfare
No kidding, Blake Osborn. Way to make the issue of forced-child warfare really hit home. Now I feel bad, as though the "violence we see in our movies and video games" somehow encourages forced-child warfare in Africa. Wait.

Feminists should reach beyond U.S by Aubree Casper, and while I’m at it, a note on reading comprehension: so-called "hippie-feminists" know that "feeling pretty is something some truly enjoy." The point of books like "Beauty & Misogyny" - which, by the way, I have never read - is that many of us have been bred to accept only a heavily made-up, pornified ideal as the face & body of Beauty. As a culture, we should grow up and expand our understanding of beauty so it reflects something realistic, something that includes real women, not just big boobs and Holy Oil.

Pirates vs. Ninjas in the SGA Election: Together, these articles left me with a deep and thorough understanding of the political process. Perhaps they lack insight into a few key platform issues (Pirates: what will you do about the menace of scurvy? Ninjas: where can I get one of those Naruto headbands?), but overall, this is what political reporting should be! Good work, Rebecca Perez. Willow: superb and amazing! That is all.

Hyper-literate Bastard,

I worked very hard with you last semester and helped you when you were new at the Collegian. I stayed at the paper one too many times too late waiting on your content to come in. I did my best to work with you and how am I repaid? With rude blog comments about my reporting and writing, which I pour my entire heart and soul into. Did I ever insult your writing and reporting? Nope. I respect your decision to exercise free speech via your blog, but realize that your words are hurtful. I’ve worked my ass off for four years at K-State and at the Collegian, and while I’m not perfect and not even a "real" journalist yet, I don’t appreciate your words.

-Frustrated Editor

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I believe all the problems with the Fourth Estate are right here in this self-indulgent "complaint." To illustrate:

1.    I didn’t criticize her personally. I didn’t even criticize her overall writing style, which is so bland it makes me want to slit my own throat just to make sure I can still feel. I criticized a specific element of a specific article she wrote. I also criticized other specific elements of other specific articles other Collegian staffers wrote. BFD. Yes, my tone was breezy and irreverent. Hello? That’s my writing style. She’d know that if she exercised any reading comprehension skills on the rest of my post; all my remarks were made in a catty, condescending voice. I’m not trying to tiptoe around the tender feelings of these so-called "writers." I’m trying to make fun of them. I won’t flinch. And I’ve got A LOT of material.

2.    She tried to work hard with me? That’s up for debate. Yes, I was extremely late on several articles. Not that she cares (she made it quite clear that her own crankiness is The Most Important Thing In The World), but when deadline came around, I was also studying for 18 credits worth of midterms AND working on ways to scrape up enough money to, you know, stay in school (out-of-state fees are a bee-hotch). I’m fairly sure this has happened to lots of Collegian staffers. Whenever I tried to talk to her, she’d act like she didn’t have time (BTW, impatient supervisors are a real pet peeve of mine. You sign on to a position of authority only if you have enough patience to sit down and engage other people. If you’re gonna sigh like you’re too important to be bothered with the paeons, well, grow up. "Working with people" implies a certain measure of patience and helpful, friendly advice, not arrogantly forcing people to pussyfoot around your frazzled nerves). She’d edit the story without reading it; moving chunks of text here and there, changing the flow of the story to make it suck, then leaving me to clean up and make new transitions so it did not, in fact, look like it was edited by a careless snob. The best part: whenever I turned in a story early and left it there for editors to review at their leisure, the next day, the story would appear in print with EXTRA GRAMMATICAL ERRORS (We copied and pasted but left out the prepositions! Oops!) or factual errors (copyeditors should probably not work their "magic" on numbers and figures).

3.    "Free speech?" Don’t be so dramatic. Make no mistake; this is not the Washington Post. This is a dumb blog nobody reads.

 

Fact is, there was nothing wrong with my specific criticisms. The problem lies in the newsroom. I want to stress that this is not the fault of any one particular editor. They all believe that They Are The Deciders. Therefore, they put out a rag full of dull, misleading headlines, factual errors, grammatical mistakes, op-ed columns made of moronic drivel, and STILL THINK THEY’RE DOING A GREAT JOB! They have no capacity for criticism - from themselves or from the hoi-polloi - because in that newsroom, when heads go up asses and don’t come out, they start to think their stuff don’t stink. But when the rest of us actually read the paper, we can smell it just fine.

 

 

Today truly is a day for lovers. A lady pulled up in front of Marlatt to deliver a Valentine. It was a card with a silver heart-shaped helium balloon attached. The lady handed it off to the front-desk clerk, who blandly informed her that Marlatt could not accept the item, because - no, really - although it was addressed to "Alex" in "room 00X," it did not include a LAST NAME; because of that glaring omission, there was no way to be certain that "Alex" was the intended Alex. No way!

So listen up, you moronic red-tape drone: it was a VALENTINE. These things tend to take a somewhat informal tone. "Dear Alex, I wuv you vewy vewy much, love, Huggymuffin" is stylistically preferable to "Attention Alex W. Smith: Thank you for your romantic attention. Regards, Huggymuffin Lee, Esq."

You could always go the extra mile and contact "Alex" in "room 00X" to verify whether he is, in fact, acquainted with a "Huggymuffin;" when he screams in joy because he was, in fact, expecting a Valentine from a certain "muffinly" individual, that seems like it ought to be enough proof (unless you’re a Terminator). But don’t turn back a Valentine delivered by COURIER just because you’re a fuckwit.

It almost makes me want to believe in love. Just to spite people.

My financial hold was finally cleared on Monday! What followed was a mad dash to enroll in classes I need. My advisor and most of my professors were receptive and understanding of my plight. Here’s what I sent the Intermediate Algebra professor: ——————————————————————————–

Professor Hawkinson,

My name is Hyper-literate Bastard; I am a K-State undergrad English major who would like to enroll in the intermediate algebra course (MWF 10:30, rec W 12:30) this semester. A financial hold prevented me from doing so earlier, but that has been cleared up, and now I would like to meet with you and possibly obtain permission to enroll in your course. Do you think we could make this happen? Thank you very much!

Hyper-literate Bastard, Kansas State University

And this was the response:

Hi. You have been successfully added to MATH010 Intermediate Algebra. 15860 REC T 9:30 CW 023 LEC M W F 10:30 CW 101 Please visit the following web page and acquire a copy of the syllabus. Regards, Dale P. Hawkinson dph@math.ksu.edu <<< Note Email address… KSU Holton 101E Manhattan, KS 66506 USA (785)532-5386

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Not afraid to be servicey! Sent the same letter to the Physics professor:
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Professor Sorenson,

My name is Chain-Smoking Atheist; I am a K-State undergrad English major who would like to enroll in your Physics 102 course this semester. A financial hold prevented me from doing so earlier, but that has been cleared up, and now I would like to meet with you and possibly obtain permission to enroll in your course. Do you think we could make this happen? Thank you very much!

And got this response:

Yes, I’m here til 430 and have a meeting at 200. Pick a time within these constraints. CS

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So, I called him, I showed up, explained everything, ba-da-boom, I’m in.
I need one more semester of Spanish.
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Professor Copple,

My name is Nihilistic Alcoholic; I am a K-State undergrad English major who would like to enroll in your MWF 8:30 am Spanish 4 course this semester. A financial hold prevented me from doing so earlier, but that has been cleared up, and now I would like to meet with you and possibly obtain permission to enroll in your course. Do you think we could make this happen? Thank you very much!

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Make it happen, indeed:
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Hi Alcoholic,

You’ll need to speak with the instructor, Sandra Contreras, to see if there is room in the class. Her email is: sandrac@ksu.edu . If you don’t contact her before class on Wednesday, then attend class and speak with her there.

Mary T. Copple Assistant Professor of Spanish and Spanish Language Coordinator Modern Languages 005 Eisenhower Hall Kansas State University Manhattan, KS 66506 785.532.1924 mcopple@ksu.edu "Live simply so others may simply live."

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Si, podemos.
So now I need to seal up that whole English major thing. How bout British survey? No problem!
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Professor Donnelly,

My name is Snarky English Major; I am a K-State undergrad English major who would like to enroll in your British Survey course this semester. A financial hold prevented me from doing so earlier, but that has been cleared up, and now I would like to meet with you and possibly obtain permission to enroll in your course. Do you think we could make this happen? Thank you very much!

Major,

I am sorry to say that the course is full to room capacity, and there are people on the waiting list. Even if that were not the case, adding a course with as heavy a reading and lecture load as this one after two full weeks of the semester have passed would probably be suicidal, academically. We’ll have finished Beowulf and the whole body of Anglo-Saxon literature studied by this Friday, and with on-going assignments, anyone adding this late would have to read hundreds of pages a night to catch up–not to mention that having missed the lectures and discussions would deprive such a student of much essential synthesis which will figure in the exams.

I’m sorry, but surely you will be able to find some class that has room and would present less of an impossible challenge as a choice to fill out your schedule. M.D.

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Wait, what? — did he just say try and scare me off with the "impossible challenge" of "heavy reading?" Hello! I’m an English major. Heavy reading is who I am. And besides, why would he assume I’m not suicidal anyway? You don’t know me. I do what I want! I do what I want! This is a delicate period of my life. I should also clarify something: I am paying A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY to come here, which technically means that YOU work for ME. Jizzwad. Whatever; plenty of other fish in the sea.

I suppose his response was, however, much better than my brush-off from Intro to Fiction Writing professor Mohammad Rahman, who - I just found out - has apparently gone to New York without leaving a note outside his office or a means to contact him. It’s not like they have e-mail in New York anyway; that’s probably just a San Francisco thing. Text messaging is where it’s at. Duh. So I hit up Screenwriting.
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Professor Reckling,

My name is Soulless Bricoleur; I am a K-State undergrad English major who would like to enroll in your screenwriting course this semester. A financial hold prevented me from doing so earlier, but that has been cleared up, and now I would like to meet with you and possibly obtain permission to enroll in your course. Do you think we could make this happen? Thank you very much!

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Two days later and no answer. I know she’s held office hourse been in her office and held class since I sent it. I also left a voice message. I also staked out her office Tuesday. Apparently office
hours have been replaced with ninjitsu hours. I’m not letting this one get away. I followed up Wednesday night.
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Professor Reckling,

Is it still possible to get into your screenwriting course? I’m a creative writing major and I would really like to talk to you sometime soon to discuss the class. Thanks!

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And so…..
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Hello,

I’m afraid you’ve missed too much of the class already to join us now. We’re completing our first text book tomorrow and having the first 20% exam. Our syllabus is in place for all the workshopping, as well, based on the enrollment of these past two weeks. I encourage you to think about the course for next spring, and to be sure to sign up earlier. Sincerely yours, Professor Reckling

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Ho ho ho! A response! An arrogant brush-off, to be sure, but read between the lines: she wants me. Watch this:
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Professor Reckling,

Please, there must be something I can do. I’m completely willing to skip a whole lotta sleep to do make-up work, if necessary. A financial hold is what kept me from enrolling earlier - I’m from out-of-state and it’s kind of tough. Are you sure there’s nothing that can be done? I’m both eager and desperate. Seriously.

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….
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Dear Bricoleur,

Okay. I wondered why you waited so long to decide on this course; now I know. You’ll need to purchase the course packet at the Arts and Sciences Copy Center, which is on the basement level of Eisenhower Hall, just up the hall from our classroom (EH 21). You’ll also need to purchase the two text books in Varney’s. Bring the Smith book to class tomorrow. We’re finishing it, and I’ll be handing out an overview of terms to know for the exam next week. The other book is by Ian Gurvitz, and you’ll need that for later in the course. We’ll be viewing an episode of 30 Rock tomorrow. You will have the teleplay for this episode in your packet, and you’ll be doing work on this teleplay for next week. That work will be much easier work once you’ve seen the teleplay. I don’t generally add anyone this late. If you miss class tomorrow, I won’t add you. I’ll be sending the syllabus on listserve, and other information, as well, so you’ll need to be sure that your e mail address is officially registered with the university (if it isn’t already). The course, as I hope you know, is screenwriting for the small screen, and the focus is on the architecture of comedy in the sitcom. If you’re looking for film or for production, this is not where you’ll find it. If you want to learn how to analyze the elements of comedy in Seinfeld, News Radio, Will & Grace, Frasier, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, and their ilk, and to write original material for 30 Rock, this is the right course for you. You’ll have a lot of catching up to do, and you’ll have to do it rather quickly. We should talk tomorrow after class. Welcome aboard. Sincerely yours, Professor Reckling

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I love it how everyone thinks I’m gonna start wetting the bed just because an exam is coming up. Also: she "wondered" why I "waited so long?" How many times did I have to explain the financial thing? And why is the English department staffed with arrogant douchebags? Now I’m kind of afraid.

In Kelcey Childress’ takedown of the recent spate of comedies involving pregnancy, she takes them to task and pronounces disapproval of these movies for mocking pregnancy. In attacking the supposed premise of the movies, however, she completely misses the point.

The point of the movies wasn’t to mock pregnancy. Pregnancy is not "funny" and no one is trying to make it so. When Kelcey thinks of comedy, she thinks of slapstick. "Juno" and "Knocked Up" are not slapstick. It’s the characters, not the situation, who bring the funny; characters who, not being prepared for the event that lies before them, are forced to grow up fast and, in doing so, bring a unique perspective to the sitch, a perspective that is not parrotted ad nauseum by happily married couples on soap operas and furniture commercials, a meme that is not rammed down your throat by all those shitty Lifetime movies, wherein some innocent wide-eyed country maiden gets impregnated by some cad with 10 kids by different mothers and has to learn the hard way that, except for the handsome, gentle, patient, avuncular white knight, ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES!!!1!!1!! OMG!!!!!1!1!!

The point of the movies was that pregnancy is an impactful event; it doesn’t happen only to certain people, and it’s not just certain types of people who deserve the honor. Given the right circumstances, it can happen to any of us, and in the end, the characters demonstrate, through their maturity and grace, that they can handle it. To know that, Kelcey would have had to watch the movie, listen to the dialogue, become familiar with each character’s style, and treat them all the same way you should treat people in real life: with compassion for their flaws, and awareness and respect for their capacity to develop and learn. Neither memes are more or less realistic than the other; but Juno and Knocked up provide a new way of thinking about it, a way that refuses to demonize people involved just because they don’t fit the molds you’ve been accustomed to seeing; a task that, perhaps more than anything, is the entire point of art. You narrow-minded clod.