The hour badly spent

It’s all right there.

…The veterans brought their own soil to add to the seven different types of soil already selected. One by one, they each walked to the front and poured they’re (sic) own personal soil, a proud moment for the veterans to honor their friends and families who served in the war.

They just don’t make diapers like they used to. Those olds must have been carrying around their soil for years, waiting and waiting and waiting for the perfect moment. At long last, K-State’s campus provided the ideal setting for them to dump their soil. I can’t imagine a more fitting place.

[Jasmine Wilcoxson, K-State Collegian]

PBS is the vegetarianism of television. Although it’s a good idea, few of us have the discipline to commit to it. Tim Hadachek’s got a solution.

Like so many other government endeavors, PBS falls into the long list of programs that have outlived their usefulness. Public broadcasting was created in 1967 to provide diversity to television at a time when it was dominated by the three broadcast networks.

But in today’s world of 6,000-channel cable packages, there is little need for more diversity. Science, cooking and home improvement shows — at one time exclusive PBS undertakings — now have networks of their own. Slashing the budget for public broadcasting is a favorite pastime of Republicans in Congress and the White House.

Starting with Newt Gingrich in the 1990s and continuing to the current president, it is almost a yearly ritual for the proposed budget to greatly limit PBS funding. Yuppies everywhere protest loudly, and the $400 million or so is begrudgingly put back into the federal budget.

The problem is that those who protest cutting spending don’t seem to be actually watching. As the New York Times noted, “the highest-rated shows on PBS barely garner half the ratings of the wrestling show ‘Friday Night Smackdown.’”

I couldn’t have said it better, but I will anyway. American media and culture would do better off by pandering to teenage boys. Teenage boys don’t want Shakespeare, classical music, modern art. They want Smackdown. Also: fast-food ads. And Jerry Springer. And Girls Gone Wild. Yeah, lots of medieval-era patriarchy, except you can reach a lot more people with TV than with sonnets.

Public television is based on the assumption that such a thing as “high culture” can be defined. Based on the current programming of PBS, high culture means watching 10-year-old British sitcoms and rich people sell their junk.

Culture can’t be defined; it is whatever people choose it to be, based on their own interests. Shoving large amounts of Shakespearean adaptations down our throats is not going to change that.

In Hadachek’s world — a utopia of Ayn Rand-level dickitude — history and culture are replaced with cynical devotion to the bottom line. Marketablity is the be-all of everything. Instead of Barack, our next prez would be The Rock. Our VP would be Trish Stratus.

 

Maybe Hadachek is on to something after all.

[K-State Collegian]

It was a chilly night, 28 degrees. The Memory of Water was sold out by the time Smallville & I arrived. Our plans dashed, we ended up going to Auntie Mae’s with the Poetess.

"We’d better smoke all our cigarettes once we get there, while we still can."

The Poetess had just found her long-lost driver’s license and was in a rare celebratory mood.

"You don’t want me to buy the first round?" she offered.

"If you put it that way, I’ll have a screwdriver." They’re cheap here.

"Yuch."

We sat at a booth open right there (it was not as crowded as we’d expected). "How’s your drink?"

"A little weak."

Nevertheless, we were having a good time. We talked and talked and talked. Smallville said later that I kept hijacking the conversation. I’d like to think it was because of the double G&Ts, but it’s more likely that I’m just generally a boisterous fool. I told her and the Poetess, for the 83rd time, about how I used to get awful service at every eatery in Miami; about how it was a while before it occurred to me to not tip people for bad service.

Last call came around. Katie the waitress brought me a Manhattan and my check.

I went up to the bar and got change for a five from Robin, the bartender. She hadn’t served me all night, but I left her a tip just because I like Robin. I got ready to hand the rest of my change off to Katie. Before I could do so, I had the worst "customer service experience" of my life, which I told a friend about over Digsby the next day.

The Hour Badly Spent: i was there with a couple of ppl, and they announced they were closing up
The Hour Badly Spent: i still had a drink, so i started chugging it. this guy comes by and he’s like "get out! get out!" so i chug my drink faster, but it’s a manhattan, so it’s a little hard to down
The Hour Badly Spent: he stopped at our table and said "let’s go! get out!" so i said "i just need 30 sec more to finish this, please"
The Hour Badly Spent: i’ve done that before. i go to that bar a lot
The Hour Badly Spent: and they’re usually like "okay, just hurry up and finish"
The Hour Badly Spent: but this guy said "no. get out"
The Hour Badly Spent: and i said "please, just a few seconds"
The Hour Badly Spent: and he’s like "no, it’s 2 o clock. get out"
The Hour Badly Spent: so i checked my phone. it was 1:49
The Hour Badly Spent: so i said "can you stop being an asshole? i just need a few seconds"
The Hour Badly Spent: and he said "so i’m an asshole? THIS is how much i care about your drink." then he picked up my glass and smashed it on the floor
The Hour Badly Spent: unfortunately, that guy was a bouncer. so he called another bouncer ("Dan," who wouldn’t tell me the name of the guy who slammed my drink on the floor) and they escorted me out.
The Hour Badly Spent: obvs, i shouldn’t have called him an asshole, but i don’t think it justified the display of violence
The Hour Badly Spent: your thoughts?
Magneto: u were in the right.
The Hour Badly Spent: what really sucks is that’s the bar i ALWAYS go to. whenever me or anyone here i know say we’re going to the bars, it’s always that one bar. i’m there at least every week, sometimes twice, and i always just sit w/my friends, drink, and mind my own business

It’s not even that I’m angry; it’s more like did that really just happen? At Mae’s? I went to the speakeasy-type-place to see Jimbo Ivy and sip vodka with other English majors. I ended up swept away in some twatnozzle’s fratboy melodrama. If I wanted this kind of bullshit I could have just gone to Kite’s.

"I didn’t think you were the type to get kicked out of Mae’s," the Poetess said. We were outside. I still had the cash for Katie’s tip in my hand.

[Auntie Mae’s Parlor]