The hour badly spent

terror alert mint green with stripes, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, shut up kansas, slow newsdayDecember 5, 2008 2:33 am

It could happen any time, to any of us. Any where. Any time. To any of us. Bioterror, of course.

According to Fox News [ed. Note: you’re kidding right?], a bipartisan commission informed Vice President-elect Joe Biden that the United States can expect a terrorist attack using biological weapons before 2013.

Not "should prepare for" or "vague possibility of happening" but "expect." This should be an extremely frightening thought for U.S. citizens and the government.

The problem, according to the report, is not that terrorists will become scientists but that scientists will become terrorists. Terrorists still lack the ability to carry out a biological attack, but that does not mean the gap is not narrowing.

Everyone has a price, as the saying goes. It is extremely conceivable that if offered enough money, scientists with the knowledge it would take to carry out a biological attack could be bribed to share their secrets or allow the use of their labs which contain dangerous pathogens.

No one should have to live in fear of terrorists using something as simple as everyday life to wreak havoc on us. Let us hope the Obama administration gets off to the right start by making sure the frightening things in this report do not become a reality.

Megan Molitor is absolutely right. It is Barack Obama’s responsibility to protect American scientists from their own greed. It’s important to note that bioterror may not be their only resort. We also need to safeguard ourselves against:

  • Ecoterror. Captain Planet will not save you.
  • Aquaterror (pirates and sea serpents and so forth).
  • Ectoterror. If Obama can’t prevent Ray from thinking about the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, all hell will definitely break loose in New York. Again.

Also: gremlins.

[K-State Collegian]

underminer, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, absurd liberal myth, all your base are belong to us, monument to democracy, passive-aggressive notes, shut up kansas, too soapboxey, reality has a well-known liberal biasDecember 2, 2008 10:24 am

Shortly after the election, feelings ran high on both sides of the political fence. Some of us were all, "suck on that, red-staters." The others reverted to the same tactics that cost their side the election in the first place. Case and point: freshman Josh Rodrick attempted a call for unity in a letter to the Collegian. But since he could not resist the chance to take a baseless swipe at the president-elect, he comes off as being divisive.

…To say people should unite under one president because it brings change is asking much of a society in which people cannot even respect or agree with their neighbors.

For this American society that voted for a president that flies a flag other than the American flag over his name, where is the unified organization?

The "Obama’s not really American" meme is like a bad neighbor who simply will not trim his encroaching weeds no matter what happens to everyones’ property values. Time and time again, people keep repackaging the old message with shiny new bullshit. There goes the neighborhood.

Our first black president will be the first and definite change, and while he coerced much of the United States to vote for him, we will see come January 2009 how much our nation will change.

There you have it. It’s unthinkable that our first black president would win in a fair, free democratic election. Rather, he "coerced" a majority of the population and the electoral college.

Do not unite under a president; unite together, unite under the American flag and the principles this country was founded on; find some middle ground or cooperation and let your voice be heard.

In making a worthwhile claim, Rodrock resorts to pettiness that undercuts his own message. Neocon doublethink was already rejected by the voters. It insults our intelligence and has no place in a democracy that requires honesty to function. Bitter red-staters should leave the calls for unity to someone who actually means them.

[K-State Collegian]

playing the race card, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, shut up kansas, fuck white supremacy, reality has a well-known liberal bias 1:55 am

Perusing the Collegian’s op-ed section is normally the journalistic equivalent of watching your neighbors shoot up heroine. They obviously think they’re having fun now, but just wait. Sadly, one day every year, some wingnut just goes "what the fuck" and overdoes it with something cartoonishly sexist, racist, or homophobic. And just when you think it can’t get any more ridiculous, Mark Erbacher goes and piles on the buffoonery by orders of magnitude. "Obama’s citizenship question could easily be solved." Since when was this a question?

President-elect Barack Hussein Obama has until today to verify that he is in fact a natural-born citizen, according to www.obamacrimes.com, a Web site owned by Philip J. Berg.

Berg has a substantial amount of evidence for his claim that Obama was not born in Honolulu, Hawaii, but rather that he was born in Momboso, Kenya. Berg’s site paid for a full-page ad in the Washington Times on Nov. 17 to lay out the accusation and the grounds for it.

Of course! It was a question because some flyover whacko with a web site says it’s a question. Erbacher goes on to list Berg’s "evidence" against Obama being "American." Don’t bother visiting Berg’s web site, because it will only make you wish you lived in Canada. Or whatever. Go ahead and view it if you want; I don’t care. It’s your life.

If in fact Obama is found to not be a natural-born citizen, the Supreme Court will be forced to invalidate the election and another election will be held.

Erbacher’s column is hands-down the worst thing we’ve read all year, and we just finished Twilight this weekend. This is, in fact, the worst thing we’ve read since the last time the Collegian decided to cynically toss all logic out the window just to see what would happen. Remember that? Remember when Brigitte Brecheisen warned us that Mexicans carry tuberculosis? You were trying to forget? So were we.

We’d be a bit more satisfied if Erbacher at least said what he really meant. The column would look more like this:

President-elect Barack Hussein Obama has until today to verify that he is in fact a white-born citizen, according to www.obamacrimes.com, a Web site owned by Philip J. Berg, some guy who likes to make up shit but could never get his fiction published in Penthouse.

It is clearly stated in clause 3, section I of the U.S. Constitution that "Representatives and direct taxes shall be apportioned among the several states which may be included within this union, according to their respective numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole number of free persons, including those bound to service for a term of years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three-fifths of all other persons [ed. note: negroes!]."

Berg has a substantial amount of evidence for his claim that Obama was not born in Honolulu, Hawaii, but rather that he was born in Momboso, Kenya.

First, Berg claims to have a tape of Obama’s paternal grandmother, Sarah Obama, saying "I was in the delivery room in Kenya when he was born Aug. 4, 1961." If such a tape exists, surely this constitutes iron-clad proof. If Berg claims he has a tape, surely he must really have it.

The article goes on to say white experts have called the scanned copy of Obama’s birth certificate that he presented forged. Berg was quoted as saying, "It’s clearly been shucked and jived," which would invalidate the document. If Berg says it’s been altered, the rest of us might as well call it a day. Also, at the time he was born, Hawaiian law allowed for black people to register for the non-hospital short form certificate up to one year after the date of birth.

Thirdly, if Barack Obama did indeed attend segregated school in Indonesia under the name of Barry Soetoro, he would have been required to be a citizen. During this time his citizenship was listed as Indonesian, his religion was listed as Islam, and his father was supposedly Malcolm X. At this time no biracial citizenship was available, and if he had been adopted by his stepfather he would have forfeited his white citizenship. It is a well-known fact that the goal of so-called "biracial" people is  to out-black real blacks, usually through performing advanced urban dance moves and impressive freestyling skillz, and Mr. Hippity Hop has yet to decisively address the nation and disavow his negritude.

Ultimately the issue at hand is the U.S. Constitution, that single document that truly makes this country white. Without it, we as a nation are non-white, but when it is upheld as white as it should be and as our white framers intended it to be, our country is truly white. There are very few requirements for becoming the president of neocons’ United States, but if need be, more grandfather clauses could be added. That’s the American way.

[Source: K-State Collegian]

decline of civilization, collegianism, ivory tower, facebook, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, smug blonde rich girls, convulsive hand-wringingDecember 1, 2008 8:42 pm

A recent study has discovered that a Facebook profile really does reveal all you need to know about a person.

The Internet has provided members of a younger generation an outlet through which to express themselves and tell the world who they are. To be “single” or “in a relationship,” writing on someone else’s profile, being accepted as Dane Cook’s friend — these are all ways in which members of Generation Me define themselves.

However, there seems to be a trend of growing egos and self-absorption stemming from this surge of online activity.

Correlation does not equal causality. I was a self-absorbed jackweed* long before I started a blog and plenty of other self-absorbed jackweeds just like me existed way before the intertubez. We will still be around to post our party photos all over the next revolutionary medium.

Researchers at the University of Georgia conducted a study to test if social networking sites like Facebook.com and MySpace increased levels of narcissism, according to a Sept. 22 press release from the university’s news service.

As part of the study, researchers asked 130 Facebook users to fill out personality questionnaires and analyze the content of their profiles.

A second group of untrained observers [ed. note: Joe Plumbers] then analyzed the same profiles and determined how narcissistic the profiles’ owners were.

According to the press release, the research showed the more friends and wall posts a person had correlated with increased narcissism, the trait of excessive self-love or self-worship.

The flashiness of someone’s MySpace is proportional to his or her IRL pompousness. Stroke of genius, that is. The only thing I can add is that when I’m offline, all my excellent features still glow like a post-coital pornstar. I’ve got my roguish smile, devilish charm, elegant manners, and fine tight ass. It’s not narcissism. It’s narcissawesome.

In the release, Laura Buffardi, graduate student in psychology at Georgia and leader of the study, said this is similar to how narcissists act in the real world, forming numerous, shallow relationships with others. Narcissistic personal Web page users also tend to use flashier, more self-promoting profile pictures, the study said.

I wouldn’t necessarily call them "relationships." They were more like one-night deals. A few superpokes, a few comments, and then bam, time to hit up another network. You know how it is.

*Thanks to Smallville for letting me rip off "jackweed."

[K-State Collegian]

people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, you so missed the point, god is extra dead, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, we are not amused, shut up kansas, convulsive hand-wringing, too christianey, doucherie, reality has a well-known liberal bias, christholes 2:55 pm

Weeks ago, the Collegian’s "You Suck" comic depicted Jesus (yeah, I know this is old; it took my uppers this long to kick in). In panel 2, an old lady asks "What did you really want from humanity?" In panel 2, a swarthy, bearded, long-haired toga-clad Jew replies "That’s easy — all I want is for people to get along. Love ach other and be happy…it’s pretty simple."

Jesus goes on, in panel 3, with "Oh — also, don’t f**k panda bears. I can not stress that enough. Love and happiness, and no panda f**king. That’s all I ever really wanted to get across to people."

Comic portrayals of Jesus are hardly a big deal, and this one is fairly basic and pretty tame, if you ask us. Ask a Christhole, however, and you get a different answer. Ben Balman, a K-State graduate, wrote a letter to the editor.

I am writing in regard to the comic “You Suck” printed in the Collegian on Nov. 13. I was extremely offended by this comic strip when I read the Collegian Thursday morning. I did not find it to be even remotely funny. On the contrary I found it quite obscene.

In fact, I believe it crossed the line to downright blasphemy. Not only did it incorporate vulgar language of the worst kind, which would not be printed in any upstanding newspaper, it defamed Jesus Christ. As someone who proudly professes Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I was outraged, and not only me, but I know for a fact that many of my friends were deeply offended as well.

I can take a joke, but at some point we must draw the line and I believe that this comic crossed that line - blatantly and unashamedly. I am disappointed and offended beyond words. I expect better discretion by the Collegian staff in the future as far as what is printed. There is so much humor that could be printed that would be far less edgy and controversial — why must we resort to material that is crass, crude and inconsiderate of the faith of the majority of Americans? Is this merely to get a reaction like the one I am now writing?

There are both more appropriate outlets for the brand of so-called “humor” exhibited in this latest comic strip, as well as more appropriate alternatives to print in a campus newspaper. Until this comic strip ceases to be so obscene or ceases to be printed, I will now be removing the entire outer fold of any Collegian I pick up, if I choose to read it at all.

Was Balman for real? Even if he did have a point, he undermined it by making himself look stupid. We especially love the part where he disclaims that he “can take a joke,” then goes on to prove that he, in fact, can not take a joke. As far as "vulgar," since Balman failed to specify what, specifically, he took issue with, we’re going to wildly speculate what he means by "obscene." Which do you think ticked him off more: (1) the use of "f**k," which was redacted as shown, or (2) the blatant heresy that Jesus simply wants us all to get along? You decide! Keep in mind that it’s impossible to argue that Christ is in favor of pandafucking (unless it’s between pandas). We prefer to think that Balman’s biggest problem lies in not touching enough of that sweet, sweet "outer fold" he likes so much. "You Suck" agreed, publishing a very special issue:

"REMOVING THE OUTER FOLD! A new catchphrase craze!"

1. An insult: "Seriously! How did you get so stupid? Did someone remove your outer fold when you were a kid?

2. A threat: "If I ever catch you doing that on my bed again, I’m going to remove your outer fold!"

3. A circumcision euphemism: "…And apparently it also smells good. That’s why I’m glad they removed my outer fold."

Yeah, that wingnut’s letter was a comic gold mine; kudos to Nolan Fabricius and Jeff Brown for taking full advantage. They published another one:

Old lady: "Hey…did you guys hear that you’re blasphemous?"

Slacker (to Jesus): "I didn’t know that you gave your followers the right to go around condemning people."

Zing! At this point, I almost started to feel bad for Ben Balman, but in appointing himself some kind of moral beacon, he asked for it. And fundie humor is like a bottle that never runs dry; you can just reach for it over and over again. So, here’s to hoping that "You Suck" never loses its buzz.

[You Suck@K-State Collegian]

god is extra dead, shut up kansas, fixating on sex, convulsive hand-wringing, imagine my painNovember 17, 2008 9:29 pm

In a letter to the editor, fundie virgin Clareen O’Connor expressed shock and awe at a sex education ad.

I am profoundly disappointed in your decision to place an advertisement page promoting sex in one of last week’s papers. “MAJOR IN SEX AND YOU COULD SCORE $25,000” is boldly written on top as well as “and a $2 lift for your ‘studies’ plus trips, entertainment and other divisions to heighten your education.”

On the other side of the advertisement page is a drawing of a male with his arms around two females, all naked, with a blanket on them. The two females seem to be passing around products used for sex. Dotted lines leading from the sex products to these words: “Strawberries,” “Whip Cream,” and “Banana.”

Ha ha, "male with his arms around two females" sounds like she’s narrating something on the Discovery Channel. Anyway. Normally, I hate advertising in all its insidious forms and avatars. But I just don’t see the big f’ng deal here. Maybe that’s because I’m the biggest perv I know? Besides Madeline.

I was personally offended and shocked when my roommate, who was also put off when she saw it, showed it to me.

"Personally offended?" It’s not as though the ad came with a disclaimer, "Clareen O’Connor and her roommate are unpleasant people who you should never ever have sex with." Or would that have been better? I just don’t understand.

Sex among college students is already rampant enough as it is - why encourage it? Being a conservative Christian, I am strongly for abstinence before marriage. As such, I have decided to wait and keep my virginity.

Good for you, Clareen O’Connor. You and your Christian virginity are better than everyone else. It’s not like the mere suggestion of a threesome is enough to shake your faith.

It hurts me deeply that young people have this kind of lifestyle; that they do whatever “feels good” or satisfies their sexual drives during that certain moment in time. Uncommitted relationships lead to broken hearts and are not good for the soul or spirit.

You know what’s good for the soul and spirit? Haughty, judgemental Puritanism. That’s the only way to happiness. Clareen should know. She seems pretty happy.

If they have this kind of ruthless behavior, what will happen when they want to marry? How can they keep a committed relationship, which marriage is and requires if it is to last, if they haven’t held this kind of mindset or practiced such virtues? They will have nothing to give to their spouse since they spent and freely distributed their “love” to a variety of people and called them their boyfriends or girlfriends.

I was just talking to someone the other day about how many people avoid Christianity because they don’t want to be associated with naive, self-righteous prudes, and Clareen O’Connor just volunteered as Exhibit A. What enables her to go into these histrionics is that she profoundly missed the point of the ad. She looked at it with her Jesus glasses and couldn’t see anything beyond her own outrage. It was about sex education, not an invitation to the Houston 500. Why do you think she chose to see it that way?

[K-State Collegian]

last night's party, decline of civilization, hippies don't lie, wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to.., shut up kansas, auntie mae's parlor, where everybody knows your name, stay classy, twatnozzles, doucherieNovember 9, 2008 11:48 pm

It was a chilly night, 28 degrees. The Memory of Water was sold out by the time Smallville & I arrived. Our plans dashed, we ended up going to Auntie Mae’s with the Poetess.

"We’d better smoke all our cigarettes once we get there, while we still can."

The Poetess had just found her long-lost driver’s license and was in a rare celebratory mood.

"You don’t want me to buy the first round?" she offered.

"If you put it that way, I’ll have a screwdriver." They’re cheap here.

"Yuch."

We sat at a booth open right there (it was not as crowded as we’d expected). "How’s your drink?"

"A little weak."

Nevertheless, we were having a good time. We talked and talked and talked. Smallville said later that I kept hijacking the conversation. I’d like to think it was because of the double G&Ts, but it’s more likely that I’m just generally a boisterous fool. I told her and the Poetess, for the 83rd time, about how I used to get awful service at every eatery in Miami; about how it was a while before it occurred to me to not tip people for bad service.

Last call came around. Katie the waitress brought me a Manhattan and my check.

I went up to the bar and got change for a five from Robin, the bartender. She hadn’t served me all night, but I left her a tip just because I like Robin. I got ready to hand the rest of my change off to Katie. Before I could do so, I had the worst "customer service experience" of my life, which I told a friend about over Digsby the next day.

The Hour Badly Spent: i was there with a couple of ppl, and they announced they were closing up
The Hour Badly Spent: i still had a drink, so i started chugging it. this guy comes by and he’s like "get out! get out!" so i chug my drink faster, but it’s a manhattan, so it’s a little hard to down
The Hour Badly Spent: he stopped at our table and said "let’s go! get out!" so i said "i just need 30 sec more to finish this, please"
The Hour Badly Spent: i’ve done that before. i go to that bar a lot
The Hour Badly Spent: and they’re usually like "okay, just hurry up and finish"
The Hour Badly Spent: but this guy said "no. get out"
The Hour Badly Spent: and i said "please, just a few seconds"
The Hour Badly Spent: and he’s like "no, it’s 2 o clock. get out"
The Hour Badly Spent: so i checked my phone. it was 1:49
The Hour Badly Spent: so i said "can you stop being an asshole? i just need a few seconds"
The Hour Badly Spent: and he said "so i’m an asshole? THIS is how much i care about your drink." then he picked up my glass and smashed it on the floor
The Hour Badly Spent: unfortunately, that guy was a bouncer. so he called another bouncer ("Dan," who wouldn’t tell me the name of the guy who slammed my drink on the floor) and they escorted me out.
The Hour Badly Spent: obvs, i shouldn’t have called him an asshole, but i don’t think it justified the display of violence
The Hour Badly Spent: your thoughts?
Magneto: u were in the right.
The Hour Badly Spent: what really sucks is that’s the bar i ALWAYS go to. whenever me or anyone here i know say we’re going to the bars, it’s always that one bar. i’m there at least every week, sometimes twice, and i always just sit w/my friends, drink, and mind my own business
It’s not even that I’m angry; it’s more like did that really just happen? At Mae’s? I went to the speakeasy-type-place to see Jimbo Ivy and sip vodka with other English majors. I ended up swept away in some twatnozzle’s fratboy melodrama. If I wanted this kind of bullshit I could have just gone to Kite’s.

"I didn’t think you were the type to get kicked out of Mae’s," the Poetess said. We were outside. I still had the cash for Katie’s tip in my hand.

[Auntie Mae’s Parlor]

playing the race card, wingnutz, pretentious literary douchebag, what's the what, absurd liberal myth, going native, shut up kansas, new york salute, multiculturalism, fuck white supremacy, too postcolonialeyOctober 14, 2008 9:40 pm

The K-State campus now boasts a much larger and more diverse student body than ever before, writes Tim Schrag in today’s Collegian.

All of us at K-State are thrilled that we have a record enrollment of 23,520 students,” President Jon Wefald said, “and we are also delighted that K-State has a record number of students of color and international students as well.”

The total for minority students includes record highs for black and Hispanic students, and international student enrollment has increased, including 431 students from China.

And according to Duane Nellis, provost and senior vice president:

There is tremendous value in getting to know students from different cultures,” Nellis said. “These friendships not only enhance an individual’s personal experiences, but also help students understand other cultures. This is vital in an increasingly global society.”

Oh boy! They are just going to LRRVE it here! Grant Jones, PhD history student, gives them a neighborly welcome in a letter to the editor.

One encounters the buzzword “diversity” at K-State ad nauseum. The source of the incessant demands for “diversity” is the doctrine of multiculturalism.

Multiculturalism is the product of moral agnosticism, cultural relativism and ethnic determinism.

This doctrine holds that one should never judge Western/American culture superior to any other. Its purpose is to obliterate distinctions between values and non-values.

For example, the value of individualism is considered equal to the non-value of tribalism. The multicultural doctrine makes no distinction between chosen values such as reason, individualism, personal liberty and non-chosen physical attributes, including race.

I wasn’t sure WTF he meant by tribalism so I looked it up: cultural and ethnic identity. Why is that a "non-value?" Does it really extinguish the value of the rugged individual, or does it respect her and value her role in society? And why not use the phrase "spirit of community?" Could it be that Grant Jones wants to link multiculturalism to the image of bands of nomadic African hunters? How close do you think he actually came to typing the word "niggers" when he wrote his letter?

The epithet “Eurocentric” conflates race and culture.

I was under the impression that, historically speaking, the two were somewhat linked. Being a PhD student of history, Grant Jones would know for sure, and apparently he’s found that there isn’t, probably by not studying very much history at all.

Diversity” elevates unchosen attributes to greater importance than values based on merit, personal achievement and moral character. “Diversity” also requires individuals to primarily define themselves based on these unchosen criteria.

"Diversity" also "requires" that you take your head out of your ass and recognize that values based on merit, personal achievement and moral charactor are not exclusive to Western Civilization. Taking your head out of your ass is difficult for people with rectum-sized comfort zones; you’ll find a lot of that in Kansas!

The agenda is to Balkanize [ed. note: good grief!] the United States.

Twenty years ago Jesse Jackson led Stanford students in an anti-intellectual chant: “Hey, ho, Western Civ has got to go.” Jackson’s nihilistic premise is the basis for both “diversity” and “multiculturalism.”

A history student might want to frame Jackson’s awesome comment in historical context; since Grant Jones hasn’t learned how to do that after 6 years of secondary education, I’ll give it a go:

Jackson grew up attending segregated grade schools in the South, witnessed the assassination of civil rights activist Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, and has travelled all over the world as a spokesman for civil rights issues. Western Civ is bound with a history of unjust oppression of women and brown people, and his "anti-intellectual chant" was speaking to that part of Western Civilization.

Either Grant Jones willfully ignored this crucial aspect of the history of Western Civ just to make a specious point, or the topic just never came up in his K-State history classes. Neither would surprise me.

Anyway, my fellow brown folks: people like Grant Jones — couching their small minds behind big words — are the Whites your parents always warned you about. As long as you avoid the blowhards “studying” history and political "science," and instead just focus on the beauty of the landscapes and the fun weather and dating cute white chicks, you might end up liking it here. And if you enjoy Jamaican food, the Little Grill is somewhere around here. Check it out!

[Source: K-State Collegian, Letter to the Editor]

great moments in journalism, everything old is new again, god is extra dead, self-referential, fucking thursdays, shut up kansas, echo chamber of madness, hall of mirrors, laramie projectOctober 2, 2008 1:54 pm

Another reason to see The Laramie Project.

Led by Rev. Fred Phelps, supporters of Topeka’s Westboro Baptist Church plan to protest the Friday and Saturday night productions of The Laramie Project at K-State.

Ten years ago, Phelps also showed up at [Matthew] Shepard’s funeral.

“We do a reenactment of a Phelps scene in the play,” [Ariane] Chapman said. “It’s interesting that he’s a character in the play and he’s picketing the play,” she added.

In ten years someone will write another play about Phelps picketing a play in which Phelps pickets a funeral. Then Phelps will picket that, and another actor will show up to picket Phelps’ picketing, and then the universe will finally and instantaneously implode only to be replaced by something even more bizarre and self-referential, a universe in which homosexuals have written the Bible, God is a troupe of travelling actors, and all records of the whole thing are just an echo chamber of hyperlinks leading back and forth between each other, starting with this blog. Thanks to Phelps THE HOUR BADLY SPENT WILL BE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!! Until the whole implosion thing happens again. I have nothing to do with that.

[Source: K-State Collegian]

collegianism, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, shut up kansasSeptember 22, 2008 9:54 pm

In some issue of the Collegian last week, Frank Male penned a beautiful profile of a tiny Alaskan town.

This Hope is nestled in the wilderness of the Kenai Peninsula of Alaska, south of Anchorage. Hope has a population of only 137, according to the last Census. It isn’t even incorporated, but might is measured in more ways than size.

I’ve been told that my small penis jokes are obvious and tiresome.

In this quiet town, the median income is roughly one half of the national average, and more than half the men earn nothing. The McDonald’s revolution passed the town over, so you won’t see any chain restaurants. This is not a rich town, a well-known town or a well-placed town. It is, however, an independent town.

The library is staffed completely by unpaid volunteers and leases its building – which was built as a schoolhouse in 1938 – for $1 per year. Operating costs are mostly covered by private donations, a small gift shop and a used book store, all staffed by unpaid volunteers. The school donates its old computers to the library.

Having spent some time in the working world, I can’t tell you how great it would be if, instead of lazy wage-slaves, our streets were cleaned and our food was served and our papers were filed "completely by unpaid volunteers." Especially if the volunteers are black!

Alaska is known for its rugged individualism and libertarian streak. I think Hope exemplifies this by running a public library as what is basically a private charity.

Most of all, though, I enjoy the people. This little town founded on the basic precept of capitalism - get quick rich by hitting gold - has avoided the fate of so many other gold rush towns and continues to survive with a tourism trade.

A world of Hopes would be a better world indeed.

Hope is small for a reason (multiple entendre!). Imagine trying to run New York City by covering operating costs with private donations. People might even try to buy their way into positions of authority! Churches would manage the public school curriculum. Organized crime would own the police. Visa would own everyone else.

[Source: K-State Collegian]

wingnutz, collegianism, terror alert mint green with stripes, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, all your base are belong to us, shut up kansas 8:41 pm

Since Iran is a country that has not waged an aggressive war since 1785 and has no air force to speak of, the threat to the world’s only superpower — half a planet away — is clear and present. We simply can’t ignore this any longer, according to Nick A. Wilson, writing at the Collegian.

In a world wrought with global conflict, it is important to make haste in ending all threats of nuclear proportion. The United States has been quite contradictory in terms of its nuclear disarmament. Therefore, it would not be credible to use information from the U.S. government for unbiased intelligence.

Does Iran have nukes? Does Iran not have nukes? Who’s to say, really? What does it even matter? We can sit down and do "research" or even "negotiate," but who has time for that?

With the rapid expansion to the nuclear development in Iran, the U.N. Security Council should take immediate action to do all that is possible to ensure safety to the public abroad.

If the use of soft power continues to produce negative results, military action must be taken to some extent.

Blackwater’s quarterly gains must be sluggish lately. It’s about time to break into a new market.

[Source: K-State Collegian]

everything old is new again, decline of civilization, collegianism, femiladyism, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, shut up kansas, fixating on sex, convulsive hand-wringing, imagine my painSeptember 17, 2008 3:18 pm

Whenever you go to the mall, you should just buy condoms along with everything; that gaudy purse, those shoes, that snazzy Sprint cellphone, those jeans. Especially if they’re Levi’s. That brand is just WAY TOO SEXY, according to Corene Brisendine.

On a scale of inappropriateness, sex in advertising has reached an all-time high.

At the movie theater or on prime-time television, consumers can watch a Levi’s Jeans commercial in horror.

The girl on screen appears to be between 12 and 14. She unbuttons her jeans and encourages a boy to do the same in an attempt to get him to do something he is not sure about.

It promotes not only teen sex but also the ideology that young girls must aggressively seek sex to be popular or liked by boys. The popularity this type of behavior promotes is not the type young women should be seeking.

Corene sounds like a lot of fun at parties.
Girls who behave in this manner will never find boys who like them for more than sex or who want to be with them for any length of time [ed. Note: FIND THE RIGHT BOY!!]. Advertisers are absolutely wrong for promoting it.
I’d say advertisers have done a good job. I own 700 Snorg Tees. Thanks, by the way, for "promoting" the "ideology" that all boys are always predatory, infantile jerks.

Why must sex be painted as some sort of automatic loss for girls? Isn’t it possible for a girl to get something out of it too? Is it possible for her to indicate so, by yelling "I win I win I win!" during orgasm?

Music videos are another form of advertising that have hit an all-time high of inappropriate dress and behavior. For example, Rihanna’s song "Disturbia" was enjoyable when it first came out.

However, after watching the music video of a woman dressed in a prostitute’s outfit, complete with fishnet pantyhose and a corset, it makes me sick to hear it.

It makes you sick? It’s a woman in skimpy clothes, not a crime scene. Haven’t rap/R&B videos looked exactly like this for the last 20 years? I haven’t seen Rihanna’s, but I can’t imagine it took much work. They probably just photoshopped her head into the "Baby Got Back" video and called it a day.
This video sends the message to teenagers that women must dress and act like prostitutes to be heard and recognized. Surely women are more intelligent than this video portrays.
Do I want to be recognized just for "intelligence?" That’s hard. You have to, like, read. And solve equations. And talk a lot. Which is pretty boring. And on some level, isn’t it another form of objectification? On occasion, I kind of like to just have sex, and maybe some women do too. Is that wrong? Taking my shirt off and making sexy dance moves is a lot easier than giving an art speech.

[Source: K-State Collegian]

wingnutz, collegianism, what's the what, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, absurd liberal myth, point/counterpoint, shut up college, shut up kansas, socialist fascistsSeptember 7, 2008 7:36 pm

Oil companies: as evil as the sweet black gold they pump from the deep, ancient heart of our planet, or just trying to make a buck in America like the rest of us? Earlier this week, Tim Hadachek weighed in on the issue, challenging us to put down our shrill, knee-jerk griping every time gas prices creep up a couple of bucks (what do you really need that for, anyway? You’re either giving it to Big Oil or Big Farm). We should examine this in terms of the basic principles of our economic system.

Oil companies want to make as much money as possible, and this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Our economy works best when everyone is free to make as much profit as their skills, intelligence and resources will allow them, as long as it is done fairly.

So why do Democrats want to punish oil companies for living out one of the greatest American ideals?

On average, the largest oil companies make only about 9.7 percent more than they spend each year, slightly above average for an S&P 500 company. Many companies have much larger profit margins.

Google, for instance, operates with a profit margin of about 25 percent, according to CNN on April 29.

I’ve always been disgusted with the way Google and their hegemonic “algorithms” rip us all off every chance they get, then use their leverage to choke the competition. Look what’s happened now! We have to pay whatever price the free search engine cartels wanna stick us with. They’re basically the internet’s warmongering Ritalin dealers. Who among us can honestly go without Ritalin? But, again: greedy as Google is, I can’t really fault them just for trying to make a buck in America.

Adding new taxes on oil companies essentially is punishing them for making money. But basic economics tells us they should make money. They produce a commodity that is of limited supply and in high demand.

Why penalize a company that is willing to invest hundreds of billions of dollars to bring us energy?

Blaming oil companies for high gas prices is like blaming farmers for high food prices.

In the future, we will just outsource the functions of our government’s legislative branch to Exxon’s board of directors. We will outsource our judicial branch to the Mob. The only decision left for President Palin will be whether to waterboard the Liberals in a vat of boiling crude oil or to extradite them to a detention facility in Saudi Arabia, where Blackwater will sodomize them with WMDs.

 [Source: K-State Collegian]

wingnutz, collegianism, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, full of crap, this blog is not dead, shut up kansasAugust 28, 2008 3:53 pm

In yesterday’s Collegian, Tim Hadachek published a bold, crushing, trenchant takedown of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius’ career. The article was buffeted by information meticulously compiled from mounds of public documents through weeks of investigation. Just kidding. Hadachek was totally blowing smoke out of his ass.

"Sebelius was an early supporter of Sen. Barack Obama, endorsing his candidacy in January. Since then, our governor has made stops across the nation on behalf of the Democratic nominee.

"The governor should be reminded that she already has a job, one that doesn’t end for two more years. Her tenure in our state isn’t an extended job application for team Obama. This sort of opportunism is hardly surprising though, as Sebelius has been a politician her whole life.

"Sebelius has even used important issues to bolster her résumé. Under the guise of saving the environment, the governor vetoed legislation three times that would have allowed power plants to be built in western Kansas.

"These plants would have brought hundreds of jobs, helped the state’s sagging economy and increased our energy supply. Sebelius’ decision was hailed by national environmentalist groups and bolstered her reputation among Democrats. Our environment needs to be protected, but it doesn’t have to come at the cost of sacrificing our economy and shouldn’t be used as a tool for advancing a politician’s career.

Hadachek’s article uses 600 words to point out that Sebelius (1) is a Democrat who – wait for it — does things to promote other Democrats, (2) spends too much time on the runways of London and Paris showing off her sexy platform to the world to have any time left for Kansas residents, and (3) single-handedly keeps a nationwide recession going on the the strength of her ambition.

I challenge anyone to name a single governor who does not work to promote the party to which he or she belongs. And not that I particularly care about the environment in Kansas, but I’ve never heard anything about the state being in some huge energy crunch that they had to have these plants. How much ya wanna bet that the push for these power plants came from a large corporation AND NOT a coalition of middle-class citizens demanding more energy and more jobs?

Sure, I could come up with any number of arguments to refute everything else in Hadachek’s piece, but I’m lazy. Suffice it to say that his article is full of shit and Republicans suck. All I’ve seen them offer here is a church on every dirt road and a gun in every shopping mall. That and an end to the scourge of illegal immigration. "That right there should do wonders for the economy! They ruin our businesses by swamping us with pesos."

[Source: K-State Collegian]

collegianism, not afraid to be servicey, all your base are belong to us, alienation of modern life, this blog is not dead, yummy cancer treats, shut up kansas, marlboro man, old-timers, local politics, new york salute, socialist fascists, manhattan board of commissionersAugust 27, 2008 1:22 pm

The Manhattan Board of Commissioners voted on that smoking ban. They chose to spite me and my prediction by rejecting the ban, but I’m not taking it personally. Justin Nutter broke it down for us in the Collegian.

The commission gathered for a special meeting at 7 p.m. Tuesday to discuss the ordinance. City Attorney Bill Frost opened the meeting by discussing the possible outcomes.
“We essentially have one of two options,” Frost said. “We can elect to pass the ordinance as it was submitted, or we can pass a resolution to submit the ordinance to a vote on the Nov. 4 ballot.”
Frost said the ordinance did not appear to contain any legal issues in its presented form.
“From what we can tell, there are no constitutional concerns with the ordinance the way it was proposed,” he said.

Umm, parliamentary procedure? Servicey, I guess. But it gets better. After local resident Stan Watt outlined the bill to the Commissioners, Manhattanite Dee Ross expressed disapproval of the proposal.

“How dare you look a soldier or veteran in the face and tell him thank you for his service to this country,” Ross said. “When you say the Pledge of Allegiance, do you forget to say ‘With liberty and justice for all?’” Ross appeared to become increasingly upset as he spoke, and he ended with a gesture that sent the audience into a buzz.
“Let me end by giving you socialist fascists the New York salute you deserve,” said Ross as he waved his middle finger in the air [ed. note: Oh snap!].
The ordinance failed in a 2-3 vote by the commissioners.

The other day I waxed romantic about how indifferent I am on this issue. But I’ve had a total change of heart. This guy is awesome. He’s basically the Marlboro Man, and I’m joining his militia. It’ll be me and Barack Obama’s white siblings, all dressed like Launch Pad McQuack. During the day we’d use Dee Ross’s WWII pistols to shoot down illegal immigrants. At night we’d cook their remains over a bonfire on the prarie.

"I loooove Mexican," I’d say, wiping my sleeve across my mouth.

"Well then eat up, son," he’d chuckle. "No sissy food; no sissy portions."

[source: K-State Collegian]