The hour badly spent

collegianism, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, amused at my own shitty jokes, all your base are belong to us, old-timers, masturbating copyeditors, stay classy, scatDecember 1, 2008 12:17 pm

It’s all right there.

…The veterans brought their own soil to add to the seven different types of soil already selected. One by one, they each walked to the front and poured they’re (sic) own personal soil, a proud moment for the veterans to honor their friends and families who served in the war.

They just don’t make diapers like they used to. Those olds must have been carrying around their soil for years, waiting and waiting and waiting for the perfect moment. At long last, K-State’s campus provided the ideal setting for them to dump their soil. I can’t imagine a more fitting place.

[Jasmine Wilcoxson, K-State Collegian]

collegianism, ivory tower, not afraid to be servicey, joy in the shadows, going native, anne longmuir, blogsome nymphet, journalismism, tim dayton, masturbating copyeditorsNovember 18, 2008 12:47 pm

In Eisenhauer 016, two students had already come up with a plan.

"Let’s pull down the blinds. Dayton will think it’s darker than it really is, and cancel class," said Cherry. She and the Sexy Communist Spy went to work.

Professor Dayton walked in just as they finished up, and he did not give a fuck. "If you think you’re getting out of class because of a little power outage, you’ve got the wrong guy," he said. He rolled up the blinds, tugged his podium over to the window and started the afternoon’s lesson.

The power had gone out on campus 20 minutes prior. It affected buildings on the main campus; the Stuni but not the library, the classrooms and lecture halls but not the dorms, administrative buildings but not Lafene. It was a bright day, a sunny day; the mindset of “let’s just call it a day and head back home” had not set in, except among slackers.

"If there’s anything that K-State’s students are, it’s flexible and accommodating," said Pat Bosco, dean of student life. "They have great common sense about them, and they respond to these natural phenomena with ease." Sunlight streamed in through windows on two sides of his office.

"For me, I’m a little different. I can’t stand being without my phone," he said.

Due to the power failure, Bosco had to cancel a 1:30 lecture he was to deliver in the Little Theater on boscology — "the art of climbing through broken glass."

A lady in the finance office, having been in contact with K-State Facilities, said two squirrels got into a transformer at the Westar power station by St. Isadore’s Church, repeating an incident that had happened years ago. She didn’t want her name printed in the paper.

Another man in the office overheard her. "So we’ve got barbequed squirrel?"

"Fried squirrel," she corrected him.

At the power station by St. Isadore’s, nine guys in white hard hats stood around the transformers, fenced in by barbed wire. Insert your own Stormtroopers joke here. Two of them fiddled around with a tower of machinery that did not, in any way, resemble the Death Star II. They weren’t interested in talking to the press.

"If I were a new teacher, I’d be in trouble," said Robin Mosher, instructor in the English department editing her lesson plan in pen and ink that afternoon. Mosher has taught at K-State for 28 years.

"If the power isn’t on tomorrow, it won’t affect class at all because we have plenty of windows," she said. Technology would help her classes (sometimes she uses PowerPoint slides), but everything can also be done the old-fashioned way, she said.

Terri Engnoth, another English instructor, took her freshman expository writing class outside and handed out papers.

"It was exciting. It felt like a snow day," she said. "All of my students showed up. I couldn’t believe it."

The power came back on after several hours. Westar would not give out any information about the outtage. The Collegian would not print any information without a named source. Thanks a lot, Finance office. Everyone is hamstrung by red tape! Except the Kansas City Star, who, without naming any specific University official, scooped the K-State Collegian with this AP report late in the evening (link provided via Facebook by Princess Glitter Bunny):


MANHATTAN, Kan. | A couple of squirrels put Kansas State University in the dark for a few hours.

The Manhattan campus was without electricity for more than three hours Monday. The university says power was cut when two squirrels got into a Westar Energy transformer.

Electricity was restored around 4:30 p.m., allowing evening classes and activities to proceed.

livejournaley, the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, masturbating copyeditorsOctober 16, 2008 2:07 am

Tomorrow, Shane Oram’s column will be about nothing. Well, mentoring. It will probably read something like "It’s good to have a mentor, because a mentor can help you out and shit," except more condescendingly and less stylish than the way I put it. The Collegian is (surprisingly) aware of his bullshit. Copyeditor Jon Garten provided a suggestion:

Get a point!
So why does Megan Molitor let him publish his sad little sermons? We hope the reason is that she’s too busy drinking to give a shit, but we haven’t asked her yet and don’t care that much, because we’re too busy drinking to give a shit.

collegianism, all your base are belong to us, reality of genocide, masturbating copyeditorsOctober 13, 2008 8:26 pm

It’s almost too easy to misread Jon Garten’s headline, “Moran says Kansas economy still strong despite financial crisis.” We wondered whether it was an oversight or unintentional awesome, but some exposition near the end of the article cleared things up for us:

Moran said he’s skeptical of the Bush administration’s bailout plan. A lot of those feelings stem back to the Bush administration’s decision to invade Iraq.

Before the war, Moran said then National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice told him the reasons for an invasion. Moran said he was given the impression that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and chemical and biological weapons and was close to acquiring a nuclear weapon.

They’re all morans.

[K-State Collegian]

the k-state collegian is just a fancy blog, editorial 'we', we are not amused, masturbating copyeditorsSeptember 30, 2008 4:34 pm

Overheard in the newsroom:

Reporter: "You can tell which of these things on the calendar was written by Hodgin and which was written by Brisendine, because they both have such different handwriting."

Copyeditor: "They both have really bad handwriting!"
Reporter: "But Brisendine’s is so much better!"

Afterwards we snuck up to the calendar to verify what we’d just heard. Everything was written in Japanese. It looked like a big game of Kanji-Sudoku. I’m pretty sure Whitney was winning.

collegianism, pretentious literary douchebag, ivory tower, creative underclass, nice ass, modern romance, required reading, saucy aussie, trying to amuse erica hateley with clever tags, jen roberts, blogsome nymphet, masturbating copyeditors, hipster elf, sugi ganeshananthan, love marriageSeptember 23, 2008 6:10 pm

So there was this Visiting Writer thingie on Friday, and lo, it appeared in the local rag with a few copyediting inaccuracies, but there it is.

What struck me at Sugi Ganeshananthan’s reading was that, although the story was not particularly suspenseful, everyone in the audience was on the edge of their seats, quiet as housecats. I sat at the back of the room so I could pass notes to the well-dressed and cutely accessorized Hipster Elf, and the only thing that came to mind is ’someone should belch.’

I wrote that down and showed her — I had to be very careful because with no one else fidgeting in their seats and checking the clock I couldn’t just conceal my own fidgeting in the general shuffle. After that I decided to just sit back and listen.

Sugi’s prose was clear and brief, expressing feeling beautifully without making us wade through overbearing complexity. After the reading, someone asked her about the Iowa Writers’ Workshop.

"It’s nice to be in a place where you can say ‘I’m a writer’ and not have people ask you ‘what have you written that I might have read?’"

I mouse-ishly tried to get the commentariat’s reaction.

"You can interview me," said Tanya Gonzalez, bouncing down the hall on her way out. "It was fabulous!"

I guess that says it all.

Since I was trying to commit as many journalistic ethical violations as possible, I took the Hipster Elf with me to the Cathouse to interview sources. The English department and the Visiting Writer were hanging out, in a circle, by the window.

I sat around, trying to overhear and sift through ambient conversation; Saucy Aussie, with her typical aussome, made a boo-boo and dug around in her bag for a bandage (she apparently carries around a first-aid kit everywhere? And weeps at the sight of her own blood); Sean discussed something lofty and English-ey with the Visiting Writer; Jen was being an exceptionally charming and cogent drunk.

"The way that she [Sugi] played with the theme of hurt reminded me of Midnight’s Children," she said. That was the second time in as many days an English major recommended that book to me. Everything is foreshadowing.

I also spoke to the Visiting Writer herself, which felt weird strange because she’s a real journalist and I’m, well, me. And besides the tender, intimate prose, "Love Marriage" — which I have not read — apparently has something important to say about the play of good and evil in a post-9/11 world.

"There is an idea of who is ‘good’ and who is ‘bad,’ but the truth is not always obvious," Sugi said. "There are so many different ways to be wrong and so many different ways to be right. The people who probably think of themselves as good, with a slight turn of their lives — maybe five degrees west, could probably be bad." And with that, the conflict between human and Cylon takes another angle. Nerd.

Anyway. Read "Love Marriage." Go ahead and buy it and then I’ll borrow it from you.

[K-State Collegian]