God to troll advertisements in search of fuel for his divine outrage
In a letter to the editor, fundie virgin Clareen O’Connor expressed shock and awe at a sex education ad.
I am profoundly disappointed in your decision to place an advertisement page promoting sex in one of last week’s papers. “MAJOR IN SEX AND YOU COULD SCORE $25,000” is boldly written on top as well as “and a $2 lift for your ‘studies’ plus trips, entertainment and other divisions to heighten your education.”
On the other side of the advertisement page is a drawing of a male with his arms around two females, all naked, with a blanket on them. The two females seem to be passing around products used for sex. Dotted lines leading from the sex products to these words: “Strawberries,” “Whip Cream,” and “Banana.”
Ha ha, "male with his arms around two females" sounds like she’s narrating something on the Discovery Channel. Anyway. Normally, I hate advertising in all its insidious forms and avatars. But I just don’t see the big f’ng deal here. Maybe that’s because I’m the biggest perv I know? Besides Madeline.
I was personally offended and shocked when my roommate, who was also put off when she saw it, showed it to me.
"Personally offended?" It’s not as though the ad came with a disclaimer, "Clareen O’Connor and her roommate are unpleasant people who you should never ever have sex with." Or would that have been better? I just don’t understand.
Sex among college students is already rampant enough as it is - why encourage it? Being a conservative Christian, I am strongly for abstinence before marriage. As such, I have decided to wait and keep my virginity.
Good for you, Clareen O’Connor. You and your Christian virginity are better than everyone else. It’s not like the mere suggestion of a threesome is enough to shake your faith.
It hurts me deeply that young people have this kind of lifestyle; that they do whatever “feels good” or satisfies their sexual drives during that certain moment in time. Uncommitted relationships lead to broken hearts and are not good for the soul or spirit.
You know what’s good for the soul and spirit? Haughty, judgemental Puritanism. That’s the only way to happiness. Clareen should know. She seems pretty happy.
If they have this kind of ruthless behavior, what will happen when they want to marry? How can they keep a committed relationship, which marriage is and requires if it is to last, if they haven’t held this kind of mindset or practiced such virtues? They will have nothing to give to their spouse since they spent and freely distributed their “love” to a variety of people and called them their boyfriends or girlfriends.
I was just talking to someone the other day about how many people avoid Christianity because they don’t want to be associated with naive, self-righteous prudes, and Clareen O’Connor just volunteered as Exhibit A. What enables her to go into these histrionics is that she profoundly missed the point of the ad. She looked at it with her Jesus glasses and couldn’t see anything beyond her own outrage. It was about sex education, not an invitation to the Houston 500. Why do you think she chose to see it that way?
she chose to see it that way because by religiously denying herself of the pleasures of the flesh she is actually way more fixated on sex than i could ever be, which is saying quite a bit. it seems to me that most people would just pass this sort of thing over, but she sees sex everywhere, perpetually affronting her so-called higher morals. anyone ever notice that only the “good” or “moral” side that is engaged in a battle against good and evil, moral and amoral, acknowledges an engagement at all. the “bad” or “amoral” side just does whatever it is they do. they are not fixated on sex because they are too busy enjoying it. i apologize if making your “subtle-hint conclusion” explicit ruined the humor..
Comment by chelsey — November 18, 2008 @ 6:18 pm
Heh. “It hurts me deeply.” That ain’t no virgin. Not in her heart, at least.
Comment by striphe — November 18, 2008 @ 6:20 pm